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Courage to change the things I can…

Gerald Road is a deeply personal layout project. Probably deeper than even I had anticipated when I first sketched out it’s Mk1 large form all those months ago. As a result it does seem to move in fits and starts and yet come to abrupt and prolonged pauses…


A few weeks ago I decided to push on again, fuelled by the love of Class 03 and the promise of the composition and how lovely it feels having shared and enjoyed it at the book launch… I formed the between the rails infill for the road and yard and tried fitting them.

Something wasn’t right - in my calculations, modelling AND in my mindset… a sort of nervous energy, an agitation… a feeling I recognised yet chose to ignore. The results were frustrating and more, they were upsetting. The infill caused erratic and poor running, it was proud of the rail surface in places. It was a mess…

I put the layout away for a few weeks. Time has healed and I’ve dug it out again today - and took the brave step of gently beginning to remove these and start again. Having the courage to face the layout AND the courage to see what could be replaced will make this project better in the long run and right now, it feels nice to be working on Gerald Road once more. 

There is a point to recognise beyond this situation though - that having courage to appraise our work and make changes when we’re not happy is a powerful lesson - too that when I feel that agitation it is time to walk away. Until next time, more soon…




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Comments

  1. EJI21 June 2025 at 09:32

    James this very topic came up at my local club the other evening and I completely get this. Recognising the point to put the tools away and leaving it simmering subconsciously 'on the back burner' so to speak is a good move, returning to it much later finding the creative and logical thread has returned makes it so much more enjoyable and rewarding.
    Thanks for posting, as always enjoying the developments.
    regards
    Eric

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    Replies
    1. James H21 June 2025 at 12:05

      Thanks Eric, as always pleasure to share my work with you all.

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    2. James Finister21 June 2025 at 12:05

      Some of us take that to an extreme degree ;-) But if something is wrong, you'll never unsee it, even if nobody else notices. And that simmering is when the best solutions come to you.

      Micro/cameo layouts can lull us into thinking a small layout is quick and easy, but the opposite is often true. Everything has to be right.

      Delete
    3. Colin21 June 2025 at 13:15

      There's another aspect as well. Sometimes when we continue to work despite our circumstances - whether they be frustration with the task, mental health issues, or external problems - the work we produce during that time becomes a permanent reminder of those circumstances regardless of whether the work itself is good or bad. Removing work associated with the bad times and redoing it is probably a good step.

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    4. James H21 June 2025 at 15:17

      Thanks all, yes good reflections.

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    5. James Finister21 June 2025 at 17:41

      Interesting point Colin. Though it can also work the other way, with the railway being the one ray of hope in the bad times

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    6. Colin21 June 2025 at 18:18

      Absolutely, James. Of course, if the work helps us pull through and the work is good then the work is a reminder of our success. But if we always know the work is flawed it reminds us only of the struggle.

      That's why I think it's important to be mindful of one's state of mind when working. In the words of the song:

      You gotta ac-cent-tchu-ate the positive
      E-lim-i-nate the negative
      And latch on to the affirmative
      Don't mess with Mr. In-Between

      I think James H has e-lim-i-nat-ed the negative.

      Delete
  2. Tom Lloyd21 June 2025 at 20:22

    Thought provoking post today James and also the responses from other readers of your blog (Colin, James F and Eric). Thank you. Gerald road is so emotive and it's incredible to see the effort and perseverance that is going into it. I know if I can find the right tools and materials when I start a project then it will be a successful model, if I struggle to find things or it seems a struggle then I down tools and read a railway book! Great stuff as always. Take care.

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