Real life…

I was supposed to riding a Pacer today in Yorkshire. Instead, I’m sat feeling sorry for myself at home. Physically exhausted and now sad as well, yearning for trains but not much good for anything…

Regular readers will remember my long Covid story - after just the mildest of initial infections during the pandemic I have sporadically suffered with fatigue. These days the day to day symptoms have largely passed, or at least I’ve come to live them but when I get the slightest of viruses (which is fairly often with the kids at school) I’m floored. Thick head, aches, tired, foggy - and it effects my mood too, as you’d imagine. I’m back here again today, after symptoms started at the start of the week and I pushed on, looking forward to my train fix today, only to wake up like this…

Real life.

I’m not sure what drives these strong feelings or urges to connect with the past. They materialise around trains, usually 1989 - 1994. When I’m able to enjoy them (as recently riding the Class 156 from Newcastle to Carlisle) I’m recharged - but sometimes the feeling comes and I can find no obvious outlet. Sat with my spotting books and Ian Allan annuals the hot coffee made with kindness helps a little and I know that I’ll be alright, the longing will pass, the disappointment too… because whilst I can’t relive that moment there will be other, different ones to come. Until next time, more soon…

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